I’ve Never Trusted Psychiatrists.
I’ve never trusted psychiatrists.
Why would I? Whenever I have had to sit in one of their chairs and allow them to poke through memories of my past, they were determined to find that singular point of trauma on which all my current unhappiness and problems could be blamed. To open it up and drag it into the light of day. I felt uncomfortable allowing my private thoughts and emotions to be revealed to someone that in all honest I hardly knew let alone trusted.
These sessions tended to not end well, with me feeling worse than when I first went in. They didn’t solve anything for me except to expose my failures, make me relive my regrets and force them back into the forefront of mind at a time when I wanted solutions, not reasons. The reasons were clear to me I knew what I regretted in my life and how they had caused me to be in that situation.
I’ve never needed help to know what I regret. Was it the abusive relationship that I went through for 3 years as I was desperate to feel like I had independence? Yes. Was it any of those smaller points where I have humiliated and embarrassed myself through not reading the situation correctly? Yes. Was it something to do with my problematic upbring and rebellious/ independent nature? Yes. Was it my difficulty in building lasting connections with others? Yes.
I was influenced by all these moments and I took them on board, recognized what they were and put them behind me; while hoping that perhaps I learned a lesson or two.
Yet I got through them not by dragging these things back into my conscious mind and the associated emotions along with them, but by accepting what happened suppressing the emotional impact of them, analyzed them for the lessons, applied them and moved on.
My problem was finding solutions.
This is stoicism. This is an aspect of masculinity. This is now what is classified as toxic masculinity. This is dangerous, as it denies a method of coping with trauma, a method that has helped me multiple times throughout my life. Counselling and psychiatry have never been a help to me. The courses have never worked. At on particularly bad point they made my situation worse. I found the solutions myself. I went out and changed my life for the better. I changed my situation, set new goals and went out to achieve them.
I now recognises what has helped me most in my life, through bouts of depression, anxiety and loneliness. I know what brought them on and I know how to solve them.
I struggled because I had achieved my goals and was left with nothing to aim for.
I solved it by choosing a new goal, and then working on achieving it.
As is chanted so often these days: Recognise my lived experience! Recognise that people have different methods for dealing with trauma and difficult experiences.
Not everyone is capable of reliving traumatic experiences without suffering more, and these people are mainly men.
Find your goal, then work to achieve it.
Brennan, Terry. Due to the New APA Guidelines, I Will No Longer Recommend Talk Therapy.
January 17 2019.
<https://pjmedia.com/trending/due-to-the-new-apa-guidelines-i-will-no-longer-recommend-talk-therapy/>
Pappas, Stephanie. APA issues first-ever guidelines for practice with men and boys. January 19 2019.
<https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/01/ce-corner.aspx>
Why would I? Whenever I have had to sit in one of their chairs and allow them to poke through memories of my past, they were determined to find that singular point of trauma on which all my current unhappiness and problems could be blamed. To open it up and drag it into the light of day. I felt uncomfortable allowing my private thoughts and emotions to be revealed to someone that in all honest I hardly knew let alone trusted.
These sessions tended to not end well, with me feeling worse than when I first went in. They didn’t solve anything for me except to expose my failures, make me relive my regrets and force them back into the forefront of mind at a time when I wanted solutions, not reasons. The reasons were clear to me I knew what I regretted in my life and how they had caused me to be in that situation.
I’ve never needed help to know what I regret. Was it the abusive relationship that I went through for 3 years as I was desperate to feel like I had independence? Yes. Was it any of those smaller points where I have humiliated and embarrassed myself through not reading the situation correctly? Yes. Was it something to do with my problematic upbring and rebellious/ independent nature? Yes. Was it my difficulty in building lasting connections with others? Yes.
I was influenced by all these moments and I took them on board, recognized what they were and put them behind me; while hoping that perhaps I learned a lesson or two.
Yet I got through them not by dragging these things back into my conscious mind and the associated emotions along with them, but by accepting what happened suppressing the emotional impact of them, analyzed them for the lessons, applied them and moved on.
My problem was finding solutions.
This is stoicism. This is an aspect of masculinity. This is now what is classified as toxic masculinity. This is dangerous, as it denies a method of coping with trauma, a method that has helped me multiple times throughout my life. Counselling and psychiatry have never been a help to me. The courses have never worked. At on particularly bad point they made my situation worse. I found the solutions myself. I went out and changed my life for the better. I changed my situation, set new goals and went out to achieve them.
I now recognises what has helped me most in my life, through bouts of depression, anxiety and loneliness. I know what brought them on and I know how to solve them.
I struggled because I had achieved my goals and was left with nothing to aim for.
I solved it by choosing a new goal, and then working on achieving it.
As is chanted so often these days: Recognise my lived experience! Recognise that people have different methods for dealing with trauma and difficult experiences.
Not everyone is capable of reliving traumatic experiences without suffering more, and these people are mainly men.
Find your goal, then work to achieve it.
Brennan, Terry. Due to the New APA Guidelines, I Will No Longer Recommend Talk Therapy.
January 17 2019.
<https://pjmedia.com/trending/due-to-the-new-apa-guidelines-i-will-no-longer-recommend-talk-therapy/>
Pappas, Stephanie. APA issues first-ever guidelines for practice with men and boys. January 19 2019.
<https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/01/ce-corner.aspx>
Comments
Post a Comment